A Wounded Heart
We live in a rough world, a world bent on our destruction and the destruction of our hearts. In our daily lives, we walk through the valley of the shadow of death constantly because any moment might be our last. I’m not trying to be dramatic; that’s simply the truth. Very few deaths are expected, and most happen completely out of the blue, so not only might every moment be our last moment, but it might also be someone we love’s last moment. There are a lot of things that could be said about that, but the main lesson to draw is that we need to make every moment we have with those we love count because we might not get another one. Someday we will have seen someone for the last time on this earth and not even realize it. That’s a bit of a sobering thought when you recognize that our time with those we love is temporary.
Losing someone can be one of the greatest emotional struggles we will face in our lives and the pain is one of the deepest and longest-lasting pains in this world. It rips a hole in our hearts that is not easily filled, and it delivers a wound that needs to be addressed in good time. If you are currently dealing with the loss of someone close to you, my heart goes out to you and I’d like to say, there is hope on the other side of the tunnel.
Since we will all deal with loss at one time or another, perhaps it would be a good idea to address a different sort of topic today, a topic that builds off my previous post about the state of our hearts post-baptism: that of spiritual wounds, because we all want a heart made whole.
Losing someone isn’t the only wound we can take to our hearts, and it’s not the only spiritual wound we are capable of receiving. This may be the first time you have given a thought to your heart and the fact that it can be wounded. If that’s the case, then the ideas I’m going to present will prove immensely helpful in your spiritual walk. Spiritual wounds are a difficult topic to talk about simply because they hit so close to home and because sometimes we develop a bond with our wounds, a reliance on them without even realizing it—and we don’t want to let them go. If we are to walk the walk in full strength, then we need to address these wounds so they can heal because, as we all know, if they don’t heal, they will simply fester. This infection manifests in our lives mainly as fear or despair, and both of those things will cause us to lose heart. We definitely do not want to lose our hearts, our source of life, so we need to learn how to recognize and address these wounds.
We’ve all taken these wounds; we’ve all received them in one way or another, so there is nothing to be ashamed of. We’re in a war, and warriors participating in a war are bound to take some wounds. It’s the nature of the battle we fight on a daily basis. If we are actually participants in this war, then most of us who have never learned about spiritual wounds are the walking wounded. We limp around on a daily basis with part of our heart blown off, a dangling limb, acting like everything is fine, thinking that if we just push through, we’ll be alright, but that’s not the way this works, and that’s not the way we are supposed to handle things. Taking a wound is one thing, but embracing that wound and accepting it as being a part of us is quite another.
Losing someone is one type of wound that we can take, and it is usually the most painful wound by far. It is the least addressed and the one allowed to fester the most, often because we simply don’t know how to allow it to be healed and how to move on. We don’t know how to get rid of the deep ache inside that never seems to go away no matter how hard we try to bury it, but you see, that’s the wrong response altogether. However, as I said earlier, losing someone is only one type of wound, and before we discuss it further, I’d like to discuss the other main source of wounds we can take spiritually.
Psalms 41:4 AFV I said, “LORD, be gracious unto me; heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.”
Yes, sin is a type of spiritual wound and I don’t think many of us have thought of it in quite those terms before. When we give in to sin, we take a wound in our heart, a wound that needs healing. Some of those wounds are very obviously felt and the wounded feeling is quite literal, but many others are more subtle in nature. The other day I slipped up in something that I thought I’d conquered years ago, something I thought I was done with, and in the debriefing I go through with myself after things like that, it really struck home that I’d taken a spiritual wound. If you could have taken my heart out and examined it, you would have seen a bloody gash right through the center of it, so real I could feel it. I’m sure you’ve experienced the same feeling, so you know exactly what I mean even if you didn’t recognize it as a wound at the time.
Sin is a wound on our heart because, remember, we have been operating from the base of a clean heart since we were baptized and made into a new creation. Sin messes that up; it damages our hearts, and they require healing because of that. At our baptism, that’s what happened to us; our old, heavily damaged heart was replaced with a healthy heart free from the wounds of sin. Our flesh was not necessarily healed from the damage sin did to us, but our heart was. We still have the mental scars from some of those old wounds taken from sin, but the wounds themselves are gone.
The wounds taken from sin are wounds we give to ourselves, though, even if the temptation is from another source such as Satan. When we stop submitting to God and wander off by ourselves, we take these wounds from sin. We deliver the wounds of sin to ourselves when we give in to it, and it’s no one’s fault but our own. If we fight against the temptation of Satan and our flesh, then we won’t give in to sin, but if we do it is our fault and no one else’s.
James 1:14 AFV But each one is tempted when he is drawn away and is enticed by his own lust.
James 1:15 AFV And after lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is completely finished, brings forth death.
So those are wounds we give to ourselves because of the lust and desires of our flesh, but there is another category of wounds, and we’ve already touched on one aspect of it. They are all wounds we take in battle; it’s just the wounds from sin come when we give in and turn our swords on ourselves. We’re tired of the fight, so we give in to the temptation of Satan and stab ourselves. The other wounds come in the course of battle, and they are given to us. Another person, Satan, or life itself, delivers a wound to our hear,t and there’s not a lot we can do about it. We already briefly talked about losing someone, but that comes in the course of our warfare as well. We get pretty close to our fellow warriors in the duress of battle, and the greatest loss is not when they die physically; it’s when they die spiritually and fall away from the faith. That will wound us deeply, and there’s nothing we can do about it. People have to make their own choices in life, and we can’t make them choose the right path.
Then there are the wounds given to us by other people whom we love and trust: abandonment, abuse, neglect, betrayal, lying, etc. These wounds hang around in our hearts and don’t necessarily disappear at our baptism. Often, there are lessons we still have to learn and things we have to work through because of them, and the same is true for these types of wounds that we take after we are baptized.
Psalms 55:12 AFV For it is not an enemy who reviled me—then I could have borne it. It is not one who hates me who magnified himself against me—or I would hide myself from him.
Psalms 55:13 AFV But it is you, a man my equal, my companion and my familiar friend.
Psalms 55:14 AFV We took sweet counsel together and walked into the house of God with the throng.
Wounds taken from someone we trust are often the hardest to come to terms with and the most challenging to have forgiveness for. It’s often far easier to forgive someone with whom there is no personal connection than it is to forgive the person with whom we shared a bond of trust. As the psalmist says, the wounds of an enemy are easy to bear since we really shared no deep connection with them in the first place; it’s the ones who we were friends with who really have the power to hurt us deeply. Relationships, whatever form they might take, always carry with them the risk of being wounded by the actions of another person. If you want a pain-free life, don’t get close to anyone or anything. Of course, I am being tongue-in-cheek since that is impossible, but my point is simply that wounds through relationships are inevitable. We are fallible humans, and we will all make mistakes; the important part is how we move forward from our mistakes and how we deal with our wounds.
Satan and his soldiers can wound us deeply as well. Through the use of false doctrine, lies, deception, accusations, and other methods, he can deal some pretty sharp blows to our hearts. Remember, the armor of God is not for waging war against other people as much as it is for waging war against the spiritual forces of darkness. We are given a shield of faith to specifically block the fiery darts of Satan that he throws to try to take us down.
John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
We slip up from time to time and we can take grievous wounds because of it, so how do we deal with these wounds? How do we even find them?
An easy way to find wounds you already have is to follow the fear in your heart and see where it leads. Any long-term wound results in fear of one sort or another, and this fear is similar to the infection that accompanies a real flesh wound. You follow the infection back to its source, find the wound, and then you go to the doctor. We’ll see just what going to the doctor looks like in just a moment, but for now, let’s do a quick recap as to what sources we take our wounds from. We take wounds primarily from sin, then from Satan, then from other people, and finally, from loss. All of these wounds carry with them the danger of despair and the loss of heart if we allow them to fester.
Anxiety is something a lot of people deal with, and it is something that often feels like it will never end. Anxiety, however, is another form of fear, and whatever the type of anxiety, it is usually born out of a wound of some sort. Our wounds create a fear that whatever gave us the wound in the first place will happen again, and anxiety is the various manifestations of that fear on a daily basis. Social anxiety, anxiety about failing at your job, or anxiety about failing at life in general are often born out of a fear of rejection. This particular fantastical fear is usually born out of a very real wound that is often delivered by actually being rejected at a very vulnerable and impressionable moment in that person’s life. A lot of people aren’t wounded by rejection simply because they were strong enough to take the punch and roll with it through long experience and resilience, but most wounds come long before we are strong and capable. No, most wounds are delivered in our young and tender years, and we never heal from them because we don’t even realize that is an option available to us.
So the big question is, how do we get healing for these wounds?
It’s quite simple, actually; you just take it to Jesus for healing. Jesus is the Master physician and healer of our hearts. He is the only one who can bring true healing to our hearts and souls, so He is the first place we need to take our wounds in prayer.
Acts 10:38 ESV how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him.
John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Once we have taken our wounds to Jesus for healing, there are some other things to consider. The healing process will usually require something more of us and for us to take some sort of action in our own lives. Jesus will heal us, but He won’t always do everything for us. For example, if another person has wounded us then we need to forgive them before our wound will be fully healed. If we allow bitterness and hardness to reside in our hearts brought about by resentment, then the wound given to us by that person will be allowed to hang around for a long time.
Matthew 6:15 (AFV) But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Another reason wounds can hang around for a while is that we are self-centered by nature. We tend to focus on ourselves, our own pain, and our own problems, which leads to a severe case of not being able to have our wounds heal because all our attention is on them. It’s like picking at a spiritual scab, and it never has a chance to heal because we don’t leave it alone long enough for it to actually heal. If we are going to receive healing from our fears and anxieties, then we need to seek healing for our hearts, for the wounds that scar them so badly, and we need to bring them to Jesus for Him to take care of them.
1 Peter 5:7 (AFV) Casting all your cares upon Him, because He cares for you.
We go to the Father and the Son and we ask them to expose what wounds there may be in our hearts (Which is a risky prayer since They will do just that, but our whole spiritual life is quite risky, as I’m sure you’ll admit), then, we ask them to heal those wounds. If this is an old wound, the healing process is going to be quite painful because the exposure process is going to be quite humbling.
An extremely therapeutic move, a move to stop picking at our scabs while they are healing, is for us to quit focusing on ourselves and our own problems and focus on other people. A great deal of healing in our own lives comes through taking our attention off ourselves and putting it on other people who might need help and an opportunity to lean on someone else and probably have a wound worse than our own wound. This leads to another part of receiving healing for our wounds, but also one of the primary aspects of our spiritual warfare, which is community. The word “community” doesn’t really do what I’m getting at justice, but we’ll roll with it for now.
We are brothers and sisters in arms, and we fight for each other in the spiritual realm, which, as we have seen, involves those old wounds we’ve taken in the past. Those old wounds are strongholds for fear, little hand-holds for the Devil to have influence in our lives and our hearts, which is a major issue if we are indeed going to war spiritually. We need to look at a spiritually wounded brother or sister as seriously as we would if they’d been shot or stabbed physically. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not just as serious as the wounds we can see, and we need to respond accordingly. People generally don’t appreciate having their wounds pointed out unless they ask for it, but when we recognize a wound in someone else (Which is far easier than recognizing a wound in ourselves), we go to war for them spiritually through prayer and even fasting.
Now, if they come to you with a wound, bleeding spiritually, that’s when we take a stand by their side spiritually and pray together and fast together, going before the Father together to ask for healing for that wound.
James 5:16 MKJV Confess faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much.
3 John 1:2 MKJV Beloved, in regard to all things I pray that you prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.
1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
Then we keep praying for them! It’s not a one-time act, and we need to check in with them regularly to see how things are going with them and the healing of their wounds (this is harder than it sounds). Being able to check in with each other and see how things are going spiritually is one of the main reasons we are told to not forsake the gathering of ourselves together. If things are going rough spiritually for a person, that’s not our cue to step in and condemn them; that’s our time to step in and offer strength, prayer, and comfort for them. If they are engaged in spiritually damaging activities, then that might be a reason to step in, but the context of what we are talking about today is the wounds they have already taken. Our walk with God is not a lone wolf affair, and we desperately need brothers and sisters to walk with for the battles we will face. We have a responsibility to stand up and fight spiritually for those who are wounded and thus cannot defend themselves effectively. A spiritual wound, a wound on our hearts is just as crippling as a physical wound is to our physical movement. Job had friends who were willing to come to comfort him, but they did a pretty poor job of it. Job lost all his children and these men, rather than showing up to pray with him and offer healing for his deep wounds, start accusing him of some secret sin that led to all these things! Talk about the wrong approach!
Now, if we love our brothers and sisters as we should, then praying for them is not a new concept, though praying in the context of spiritual warfare and spiritual wounds might be. That is the biggest help we can offer to a wounded brother, and simply just spending time or offering a listening ear. A wound rarely requires us to do a lot of talking to make a difference in a brother or sister’s life. You know, we don’t need to say a lot, really, unless they ask for our advice. While it might seem like a copout, this should be a relief because it can be really hard to know what words of comfort to offer, especially as guys.
Proverbs 12:18 ESV There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
For the most part, the greatest gift we can give a wounded brother or sister is a listening ear without us breaking into monologues. Just being able to talk about something and get it off your chest is so therapeutic, and there are so few really good listening ears in this world. The best part? If you are really listening, you will know exactly what needs to be said when they ask you for advice. Talking through a wound is usually the first stage of healing, and often talking it out with someone else will make it easier to go to God and ask for healing as the next step. There is a time for advice and a time to take action, but those almost always take place after the process of simply recognizing that there is a wound and then understanding it.
Again, Jesus will heal your wounds, and there are often steps we have to take to walk toward recovery from a wound. Spiritual rehab, so to speak, includes forgiveness, which you can read more about here. This process of recovery can take a long time to go through, but it’s even longer if you never start it in the first place. God will give you the strength to get through it and show you the way through that process, but you are usually the one who has to walk the road. Don’t walk the road alone! Obviously, God is with you, but you need a companion to walk that road with, someone you can rely on.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 ESV Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
Ecclesiastes 4:10 ESV For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
As we talked about earlier, the path to recovery lies in helping others and removing the focus from ourselves. Once the wound is healed, there is no reason to spend a lot of time focused on ourselves, and it will hamper our recovery and might even create a new wound in the form of pride, self-centeredness, or selfishness. Again, this is during the recovery process, not the initial wound phase. The wound has to actually be addressed, and it can’t just be ignored since that leads to the long-term infection we talked about before. Once it has been addressed, it’s time to focus on something else. Our goal is to help others heal and pass on the healing we have received. The time will come when we again need healing and someone to walk beside us, but the reason for strength is to lend it to others. There is healing out there to be had, and whatever you are going through spiritually is not the end of the road. This life is not all there is, and we have something better waiting, though our time to make a difference in people’s lives is now.
The final thing for us to consider in the aspect of being fully healed is a quiet mind, a peaceful mind. What I mean by this is that if we are going to heal, we need downtime. Our mind needs a break from running to and fro and an opportunity to sit quietly and listen to what God is saying. This peace is the opposite of the sort of peace the world promises to us through mind-emptying meditation, drugs, or alcohol because this peace comes from Jesus.
Colossians 3:15 ESV And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Because of that, I’d like to end this a little differently than I end most of my posts, and that is with a sample prayer for the healing of your wounds. This isn’t a magic spell; it’s just to give you an idea of where to start in your own heart and your own life, so if you find it useful, please use it! If you don’t find it useful, then that’s fine too, though I hope this post was at least worth your time to read. This is a prayer my wife and I have prayed several times as we work through past wounds, so I hope you find it useful. If the wound is caused by sin, then you will also need to ask for forgiveness and help to not do it again even as you are made whole. That’s our mission here: hearts made whole.
Prayer For Healing
Dear Father in Heaven,
We give thanks and praise to you for all Your wonderful works and all the blessings you have given us. We thank You for the sacrifice of Your Son and the healing that You offer to all those who seek Your face. We come before You today to ask for that healing and to bring our deep wounds before You for the healing that only You can give. Father, Jesus, please show us where those wounds in our hearts are and expose them so that we can bring them before You for healing. Please heal those wounds and make our hearts whole so that we can do the work You have given us. Jesus, please give us your peace to quiet our minds so we can hear what You and the Father are saying. Please give us wisdom and discernment so that we know how to help those of Your children who need healing; give us the words to say to bring them Your peace. Please fill us with Your spirit and Your Peace, and give us the strength to walk in Your ways. We thank You for the healing You offer to us, and we praise Your glorious name.
In the name of Your Son Jesus, we pray, Amen
©Kyle Bacher 2025
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